Help/Counseling

Once progressed into regular pornography use and addiction, it is almost impossible to recover on your own. Very few people are able to recover from serious heroin or cocaine addiction by stopping cold turkey on their own. It is no different with pornography addiction. Most individuals will need professional assistance if initial efforts with parents and ecclesiastic leaders are not successful within a few months.

Remember that aaddiction is a disease that requires treatment. It is not lack of self-control.

Even having stern discussions with a son who is struggling with the addiction and "laying down the law" will likely only result in the individual lying about the pornography problem (because he has to fulfill a never relenting urge), by telling you that things are going well, while at the same time still indulging. (see The Problem). Addicts have to come to their own breaking point (sometimes sinking very low first) and truly must have a change of heart to no longer have a desire to indulge. The process usually takes a long time (months to years rather than weeks for long-term success, often after several painful relapses). It is a road of self-discovery and a true re-commitment to oneself and ones values with mastery of coping and avoidance skills and a sense of being in control again. This cannot be accomplished by lecturing to the addict, or worse, yelling matches with and chastisement of the addict. Recovery happens in a spirit of love and support, based on gospel principles.

If you have "had the talk with him and now the problem is taken care of", be assured that he is only telling you what you want to hear. The problem is most likely still there. Foster an open relationship and love the individual rather than punish or chastise him. Otherwise, it will lead nowhere.

When to seek counseling

Your initial step should be to talk with your bishop. However, if someone has tried multiple times to stop using pornography and has relapsed, it's time to get professional help. Don't wait. Get help. You will be glad you did. The earlier you get help, the easier the path will be as the addiction has had less time to spiral out of control if addressed early. It's never to early.

Counseling and help available

Sons of Helaman
The Sons of Helaman is a fantastic group counseling setup with professional counselors leading groups of young men who are addicted to pornography and/or masturbation. Groups are directed by a licensed counselor, but the youth encourage and ask each other questions during the sessions leading to self-discovery and commitment with the result that they are teaching and helping each other. Those who are further along in the process or have graduated successfully lead the discussion. This instills a strong sense of belonging to a group and not letting each other down. To graduate the program, youth must be pornography free for at least 12 consecutive weeks. In reality, don't expect any youth to graduate in 12 weeks. It usually takes longer (as discussed above) to break the cycle and eventually stay pornography free. The group sessions are fairly inexpensive at $45 per week for a 2 hour session, and are free after an individual graduates after 12 consecutive weeks of no lost battles with pornography. Initial intake session is $100.  Primarily for youth 14-28. Well established and very well organized program in Utah with good success rates. Expanding locations in Utah. If finances are problematic, bishops will usually help pay for the program as they have established a good reputation. Office locations are all in Utah, including Farmington, West Valley, Downtown SLC, Ogden and Logan currently, with more locations being added. Long distance coaching also available. Based on LDS teachings.